It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
