some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
