feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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