the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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