Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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