I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
