You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
