he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
