dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I showed him my bush... on skype.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
