things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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