the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
