new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How does one acquire holy water?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
