I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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