I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
