I'm eating all of the evidence.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
