Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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