so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize