her vagine was all disorganized.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
