I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
