And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
