this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
