Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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