What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
