porn star boner night. come get it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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