He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
