Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
