I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize