Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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