take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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