whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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