he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
