I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
