oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
