Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
