and you said cock pushups were impossible
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
