Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Text me some of your sweat
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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