We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so let's talk penis.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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