I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
