she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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