that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
