ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Fuck appropriateness.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
