Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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