mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
either way he was missing a nipple.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
