Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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