Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
