i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize