how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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