i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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