Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
