That's intense
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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