Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We need to get me chipped asap
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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