Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I need a beard to bite.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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