I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
