Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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