Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
