There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
