I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
