so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
